When it comes to shows that bring you back, there is a Holy Trinity for women: 

Desperate Housewives, Gossip Girl, and Sex and the City.

These three shows center mainly around groups of friends who are caught in a whirlwind of drama, romance, and gossip. With incredible fashion, lovable characters, and storylines that go from predictable to twisted, there is much to love about these series that defined the 2000s.

I’ve recently viewed Sex and the City (SATC, for short!) for the first time in my life. To my surprise, the show was far more entertaining than I expected. I had always assumed SATC would be a very lewd show discussing obscene things at all times.

Little did I know that the series does discuss sex but focuses more importantly on the characters’ self-esteem and the interpersonal relationships they foster.

The main character and narrator, Carrie Bradshaw, is a columnist for the New York Star, and her eponymous column, “Sex and the City,” garners a lot of attention, as many readers feel like Carrie’s personal stories mirror their own lives. My first question when I viewed the pilot was: “How on Earth can Carrie afford an apartment in New York and get paid a whole salary to write about experiences that seem so common? She barely even works!” . 

Carrie spends half her day brunching and gossiping with her group of friends, which includes Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha, and the other half going to glitzy and glamorous events, accompanied by extraordinary dates (Finance guys, politicians, artists, the list is very long!). 

Carrie’s main quest in Sex and the City is to manage to have it all: Love, a fulfilling career, time to go out with her friends, and, of course – the greatest shoes and purses ever.

She has an on and off relationship over the course of eight years with Mr.Big, a socialite and financier who loves jazz and magically keeps bumping into Carrie in the street or at events. 

Although Carrie’s life is very enviable, as she always seems to have the right contacts, the right opportunities, and the right everything, viewers are left rooting for her because she really has this light, girl-next-door persona and witty sense of humor.

It seems that Carrie, with all her blessings, struggles with the little things that weigh her down: Her inability to stop smoking, a habit of overspending, her constant overthinking, an anxious-avoidant attachment style that leads her to chase the non-committal Mr. Big, and reject seemingly wonderful love interests like Ben (A political journalist) or Aiden Shaw (A Furniture designer). 

This makes watchers feel good about themselves – Carrie’s character normalizes making mistakes, realizing how poor her judgment was, and trying to make amends. Of course, the show encourages viewers to notice these flaws and mistakes and work to fix themselves, even when this doesn’t bring any benefit. For example, in season 3, Carrie cheats on her then boyfriend Aiden on Mr.Big, who is married to the perfect Natasha. 

We are led to understand how hurtful these actions are when Natasha catches Carrie red-handed in her marital apartment and ends up breaking her nose after falling. Carrie then understands that all this time, she was cheating; she was worried about getting hurt when she was actually subjecting other innocent parties to much worse suffering. 

A very satisfying moment ensues when Carrie interrupts Natasha during her lunch break to apologize, only to have Natasha tell her how sorry she is that Carrie found it appropriate to sleep with her husband and then bother her during her free time to get her apology off her chest. 

 Some mistakes cannot be repaired or forgiven, even when you are a golden girl like Carrie, but it’s better to take action to prevent them from reoccurring in the future.

Other characters, such as Miranda Hobbes, a cynical corporate lawyer who barely believes in love, are a great touch to the show, demonstrating that never trusting in people and in relationships means missing out on various pleasures of life.

Miranda meets Steve, her total opposite in a bar after being stood up by Carrie for dinner. Steve is funny, warm, and loving, yet Miranda always acts like he is only there to get in her pants. When their relationship progresses, she keeps trying to slow things down. Their relationship follows a cycle of getting close, Miranda withdrawing out of fear, and Steve leaving after feeling unappreciated.

Miranda’s arc is about trusting in others and accepting positive things as they come along.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Charlotte York is the ultimate romantic who does everything by the book in hopes of meeting the one. She believes she has found her match made in heaven when she meets Trey MacDougal, a blue-blooded prince charming with an impeccable pedigree. The fairytale wedding quickly turns into a nightmare when Trey reveals himself to have issues with intimacy, making inappropriate jokes (such as gifting Charlotte a cardboard cutout of a baby as she struggles to conceive one of her own) and generally being a cold person who doesn’t showcase the warmth and affection Charlotte needs to thrive.

This trope really showcases how wanting to “tick every box” can be detrimental when searching for true love. As Charlotte starts her divorce process, she is sat across from a very attractive divorce lawyer. Still, she ultimately switches for the less distracting Harry, who is short, bald, and very abrupt. Although Harry is far from Charlotte’s ideal companion, he reveals himself to be an adoring partner who always makes her smile and accepts her for who she is. Once again, the show proves that finding “the one” doesn’t require following rules.

Finally, Samantha is a sassy, iconic, and famously promiscuous  PR person who expects very little from men apart from good sex. Samantha doesn’t really believe in love but is shown throughout the series as being capable of real love and genuine connection. Her first relationship doesn’t fulfill her sexually; the second one is far too emotional for Samantha’s liking; the third causes her trust issues, as her partner cheats on her, causing her to constantly worry whether it will happen again. Finally, she meets Smith, a younger and attractive actor that she only sees as a sexual partner at the start of their relationship, who allows her to let her guard down by standing by her (and shaving his own head!) when Samantha gets cancer and liking her for who she is, regardless of her age and life circumstances. 

Samantha embodies the idea that people can change their minds about commitment and that it doesn’t have to be boring or lack passion.

Ultimately, Sex and the City is a great series because it explores the difficulty for modern women to fill out social obligations such as having a career and love life when it is so difficult to manage one’s time and meet people who are genuinely nice and good for them, while correcting negative behavior.

This was written by our contributing writer, Suzanne Latre.