She doesn’t remember the exact moment it happened, but she remembers when her mother slowly, yet surely, stopped allowing her to be in her arms. She must have been about three or four years old when the warm embraces became less frequent, the affection more distant. Maybe her mother didn’t mean to shut her out; maybe she was fighting her own demons, struggling with burdens too heavy to carry. But what she didn’t realize was that, in the process of trying to navigate her own pain, she was also leaving scars on her baby girl.

No matter how much she accomplishes.

No matter how many times she shows up for her mother, despite her own struggles, it’s never enough. She often wonders: Why isn’t her mother capable of loving her for who she is? Will she ever be proud of her?

People who know their relationship often tell her, in so many words, to just get over it. She wishes it were that easy.

When no one else shows up for her mother, she does. When her mother is down, she lifts her up. Too bad she’s never received that same encouragement from the one person she always thought would be her biggest cheerleader. Instead, she feels like they’re rivals.

Despite her efforts to prove her love time and time again, she’s met with indifference, or worse, belittlement. She feels like her mother is a part of why she’s lost her smile. Because despite all the hurt, despite all the years, she still yearns for her mother to love the little girl she pushed away so long ago.

And the painful truth? She’s not alone.

The strained bond between mothers and daughters is more common than people imagine. So many women silently carry the weight of maternal rejection, constantly questioning their worth, wondering why the love they needed was never freely given.

She prays constantly for a clean heart and mind, so she doesn’t hold onto this pain nor any animosity.

But how do women dealing with this heal? How do they move forward when the love they longed for may never come? If you’ve found ways to navigate this pain, to reclaim your joy, share your story. Maybe together, we can find light in the darkness.

May God bless us all with the complete healing needed to regain the joy a child feels, unconditional and intentional!

This was written by our contributing writer, Ranice Harper.