28 years, losing sleep

Being stuck in an abandoned box.

Growing roots underneath

Collecting dust

Getting drowned by spiderwebs each night.

Trying to breathe,

But feeling stuck in my own skin

I Don’t fit in my clothes,

Except for a black sheep suit

I found in the cold

Being paralyzed,

By a movie of haunting memories

Playing like a broken record

Giving me anxiety

Until I can no longer speak

Tired.

Of getting pulled by the tone of my skin,

By the way that I speak,

Being bullied,

By individuals, I share blood with

My heart broke into millions of tiny pieces

Crashing to the ground

Getting lost like seeds

Getting drowned

By the waterfall falling from my face to my feet

I try to swim and survive

But I can feel my lungs getting fill

I try to scream, but there is no sound

And there is no one around.

When I felt like a broken,

old guitar without strings

You took me,

Fixed and tuned me

Like a knight,

You broke the box,

you took a sword,

cut the roots and took me in

I got lost in your sweet,

Warm, welcoming

Coffee-colored eyes

I felt safe being wrapped around your arms

You were scared,

But you didn’t care

Fought,

Dragons and Monsters

Traveled,

Forests and mountains

Just to keep me safe

When I felt like

A loose page falling from a book

You took the glue and pushed me in

I’ve seen your hair change

Like the leaves in the trees

Your eyes

Change like the weather

I’ve seen you fall to your knees

Getting bruised and sometimes bleed

But your smile seems to never leave

She won’t tell you

But she lost her son in a battle,

All she sees is a dark world,

When she’s trying to breathe

She has scars from all the times she has fallen

Calluses underneath her feet,

Form a map of all the places she’s been

She has cuts on her hands,

Holes in her chest

From all the times she took the hits

She won’t tell you,

She cries until she falls asleep

She doesn’t know how to write or read,

That has never stopped her from achieving her dreams

She’s been humiliated,

Spit, pushed, and stepped on

Left like a crumbled piece of paper

Destroyed,

Like a sandcastle

After being formed.

Ripped,

Like a flower from a garden

Used like a pen,

Until it runs out of ink

Trusted thieves,

Who left her there to bleed

But when she looks at me

Her smile seems to never leave.  

This was written by our contributing writer, Karina Alvarez.