(A point of view from a bird observing someone skydiving)

Stupid, stupid humans, here they go again!

Here I was minding my own business going about my day. I was flying up higher than usual, as I was wanting some peace and quiet.

Then…BAMM. Out goes that idea.

Rushing very closely past me I see one of those flying contraptions, the things humans use to mimic us. They create these enormous metal boxes, that they strap themselves into and take up our space in the sky.The air traffic has become pretty crappy since they have come into use. So many of these flying contraptions have taken over the skies and travel in every direction without any warning!These humans have no consideration for the rest of us flying about. They don’t seem to remember that we conquered the skies, way before their little mimicky contraptions decided to copy us, with much less grace I might add.

Oh, and to make matters worse the bloody box door opens. Here it comes, yes that’s definitely my peace and quiet gone. I see the first few people shuffling toward the open part, wearing some stupid thing strapped to their backs. Two people tied to one another, like they couldn’t do it on their own the right scaredy cats. The front human looks terrified, holding their arms tightly together across their body, while the one trapped behind appears fairly content with a smile on their face. I quickly pick up my pace and try and fly a fair distance away from them.

Within seconds you can see the panic take over on the human’s face, it’s a female an obvious worrier, clearly realizing that jumping isn’t the safest option. I mean she hasn’t even got any wings for god sake!

“AHHH!!” She yells.

There they go, the stupid bastards have launched themselves off the thing. What absolute wankers!

The duo simultaneously twirls around in the sky.

The female has finally stopped with the loud shrieking and actually appears to be enjoying her near death experience. For quite a while the pair spin around, for once it’s quiet, until my favorite part.

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Just a little longer…

Suddenly the calm looking human attached to the girl’s back pulls a leaver attached to his back. They both come to a halt and pull up into the sky. Their descent is much slower now.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!” The idiotic girl screams, “I’ve got a massive wedgie!” She turns her head sharply at the human attached behind her, he smiles and stays silent whilst the girl continues to adjust her clothing to try and stop the pain.

Finally. Karma. Maybe that’ll teach the stupid thing not to jump out of the sky. You’re not a bird, you do not have wings, therefore you should not fly. It’s quite simple. Now if only the other humans that I saw on a regular occasion would get a similar idea. The freaks seem to enjoy it!

Maybe one day I’ll see them fall and crash, smack bang into the ground, that would teach them a lesson, then I can finally go back to flying in peace!

This was written by our contributing writer, Shanai Besst.