I have a very good friend that shared something with me and it seems to be something that a lot of women deal with. She expressed she is unhappy and cannot understand why. Let me give you some insight into the type of person she is…or was. She was a very outgoing person, the life of the party, loving, and determined. There has never (and I mean never) been a time that she put her mind to something and did not achieve the goal. She always was the type that had her hair done, her nails and feet were always fly, and she loved to dress. If you see her now, she hardly focuses on herself. Now don’t get me wrong, she is still a beauty and keeps herself together, but it is just not the same as before. 

I know many people dealing with this matter, but only a few will actually reveal their feelings. When my friend explained the type of person her guy is, I caught wind of what was going on. You see, he was always the center of attention. He was a high-achieving student, and always had money; therefore, he kept up with all the latest gadgets and gear. He was always at every function in his hometown; therefore, he was well known. Well…he met his match when he met my good friend, but I don’t think he could handle it. Little by little he tried to change what attracted him to my friend in the first place.

 She no longer went to the beauty shop as often as before and began wearing her hair in a messy bun, she stopped dressing girly and started dressing tomboyish, and she no longer felt the need to get her nails and feet done as often as before. She also stopped all her (legit) side hustles so the money slowed down. He continued his way of life…. Do you see where I’m going with this? So, one day we were talking and I noticed she was venting about how unhappy she was with the person she is now.  

She expressed that she feels that the only way she feels she can be her true self is to either leave her significant other or put her foot down and just be who she is and possibly deal with her guy feeling some type of way. We both came to the agreement that she was dimming her light so she would not outshine her significant other. The truth of the matter is that her guy knows how much of an awesome person she is and he is insecure because he does not want other men to be attracted to her for fear that she may be more appealing to others or she may even leave him (sad thing about it is he does not truly understand that she loves him to pieces so that is not an option for her). 

So, what does he do? He’s trying to change who she is and she is allowing this to happen simply because she does not want to make him feel inferior. I wish they both would realize that if they just let things flow naturally, they can be a dynamic team that can do some amazing things in this life…together. So, my question is: why dim your light? If your other half loves you unconditionally, he (or she) will let you be. Share your insight on this matter, you may help someone regain their light. Have a blessed day!

This was written by our contributing writer, Ranice Harper.