Jason ambled up the trail with his brother Marc. While Marc led the way, Jason lagged behind. With each step, his boots squeaked on the damp spring grass. Windflowers and sprouting ferns encircled him with trees that had begun to bud, casting dappled morning sunlight through the forest canopy. 

The air was cool and crisp. A slight breeze ruffled his hair, carrying the freshness of blooming flowers that soothed his soul. Jason closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the freshness that filled his lungs. 

I can’t believe it’s been so long, Jason thought as his childhood memory of walking on this trail with his siblings struck him. 

“Come on! We don’t have all day!” Marc hollered, looking back at him. 

“Would you cut me some slack? I’m doing my best,” Jason said. 

Marc chuckled as he watched Jason struggling to keep up. “Looks like you gotta stay a few more days to let the country air detox your body.” 

“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.” Jason huffed. “A couple dozen clients are waiting for me back in the city, and I’m the only one who can—” 

“Please, don’t start with your banker stuff again. Can’t you take just one week off… for old time’s sake?” 

“I wish I could. You have no idea what mountains I had to move to make it here for the wedding.” Jason flung his hands in the air. “I can’t just keep nestling in a remote village when the firm is ready to pour me all the money in the world.” 

Without another word, Marc turned away and continued up the hill. 

Jason felt his stomach quiver. 

“Sorry… I didn’t mean it that way,” Jason said. 

But his brother continued to walk ahead of him in silence. 

For the next few minutes, squirrels, rabbits, and a shy deer in the distance greeted them. Jason didn’t miss capturing any of them with his camera. 

Soon, they arrived at a clearing, where a vast lake stretched before them. A pair of ducks created ripples on its surface. The lake was bathed in warm, golden light as the sun rose over the distant mountains, glowing the trees in a brilliant green. The sky turned into a bright blue blanket with clouds like cotton candy. 

A deep brown wooden pier extended straight out into the lake; its planks worn smooth by countless footsteps. 

“So, what do you think?” Marc asked, studying Jason’s face. 

“Wow,” Jason whispered, running his sleeve across his sweat-tinged brow. The view transfixed his eyes as he was awestruck by its beauty. 

“Just wow?” 

“This is amazing… truly incredible. Just as I remember it.” Jason smiled. His heart overflowed with nostalgia and a mixture of emotions. 

“Didn’t I tell you?” Marc smiled back. 

They plopped down onto the pier, removed their hiking boots, and immersed their feet in the cool water. The wooden structure creaked softly beneath their weight, with water lapping against the piling below. A large fish jumped to their right before concealing itself back in the water. 

Marc turned to Jason. “I know it was hard for you to get away, but I’m so glad you are here… It wouldn’t have been the same without you.” 

Jason patted him on the back. “I wouldn’t have missed your wedding for anything in the world.” 

Jason was happy that his brother got to marry his high school sweetheart, the village craftsman’s daughter. Marc has been constantly reminding Jason of the wedding for over a month. He would have come anyway. 

Marc sighed. “I wish Sarah were here today, like old days. She would have been so happy.” 

His voice broke when he mentioned the name, his eyes holding a world of sadness. 

Jason gave a slight nod. “I know. Me too.” 

The memory of their sister flooded Jason’s mind: how she used to sit next to him on this pier and joke around. She had passed away years earlier from leukemia, but the pain of her loss was still raw. 

Things turned worse when his mother died of lung cancer shortly after. As Jason recalled his time with them, a blanket of sorrow squeezed his heart. 

Marc swallowed to push down the emotion in his voice. “So, are you enjoying the lake so far?” He asked, trying to sound like the last couple of minutes of conversation hadn’t happened. 

“Uh, yeah—sure,” Jason replied. As he stared at the lake, Sarah’s face flashed before him. The emptiness she left in Jason’s heart burdened him heavily, suffocating him as he struggled to keep his composure and hide the tears welling in his eyes. 

“You remember what I said to you before I left home?” Jason asked a while later. 

Marc stared at him for a moment before replying. “How could I ever forget that?” 

Jason’s mind drifted back to the night when he rushed to Marc’s room with a backpack full of clothes and a few essential items. He said to Marc, “Please, I’m begging you. Come with me.” 

And his brother replied, “I can’t leave Dad… not like this.” 

Silence ensued as the air between them turned heavy. 

“I truly admire your accomplishments, Jason,” Marc said. “At twenty-nine, you have built quite a reputation for yourself and got the one thing we hadn’t had to save Sarah and Mom.” 

Another memory grabbed hold and pulled Jason to his fights with his father when he blamed him for their deaths. His father, a traditional farmer with a decent income, suddenly fell into financial collapse when the family needed money the most. 

Jason’s sister and mother had died because his father couldn’t afford their medical treatments, and that’s what induced Jason to leave and start fresh somewhere else. 

“But you know what, I’m still mad at you for never coming back.” Marc’s voice carried an accusatory tone. “Not even for Dad’s funeral.” 

Jason let out a deep sigh. “I just didn’t want to see him again… not even his dead face. I’ve hated him my whole life after Mom’s and Sarah’s death… he was an asshole.” 

“Can you please not call him that?” 

“No. He deserves it. His recklessness tore our family apart: the drinking and gambling! And don’t even get me started on how he ignored us after Mom’s death like we didn’t even exist.” 

“Yes, I agree,” Marc said. “It was hard for us, and he made mistakes. But you also need to understand what he was going through‌.” 

“Oh yeah, please tell me. I’m all ears—what was he going through then?” Jason chortled. 

Marc gave him a compassionate look before speaking. “Dad was having disputes with the landlord over land ownership, which was rightfully ours. And he had just lost—” 

“Oh, stop it,” Jason grumbled. “Why are you still defending him after everything?” 

“Because it wasn’t his fault, like the way you think it was, and you need to know the whole truth.” 

“What truth?” 

“He ran up a huge debt the year Mom got sick.” 

“What?” Jason narrowed his eyes. 

“He used up most of our savings to buy the new wheat that was earning a great profit during that time,” Marc began with a faraway look. “He believed it would fix our financial woes once and for all.” 

Marc paused, gazing down at the water. His shoulders slumped, and he spoke in a dull voice, “It would have been true if the blight hadn’t destroyed most of it… Do you remember the northern blight, which was immune to fungicides? It was all over the news?” 

Jason nodded weakly. 

“So the crop failed, and he became completely broke,” Marc said. 

Silence ensued. 

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Jason muttered. His muscles went numb, and he felt dizzy, wondering why his father or elder brother never told him about this. They probably did not want him to worry, but things would have been different if he knew. 

“Of course, Dad never told us anything about his work, remember?” 

“Yeah…” Jason’s mind was transported back to how his father told him and Marc to focus on their studies when they showed interest in farming or other earning opportunities. 

“I overheard him mentioning it to Mr. Walter,” Marc said. “Dad sounded depressed telling him all that.” 

“Mr. Walter? Our old neighbor?” 

“Yes. You see now? A lot was going on under the surface.” 

Jason furrowed his brows. 

Marc said softly, “Look, just because some scars are not easily tolerable doesn’t mean we are meant to run away from them… we just have to learn to live with them. Whatever had happened had happened. Come on, buddy. You can’t hate him forever. He’s gone now… You gotta forgive him.” 

A knot twisted in Jason’s chest, and his body went cold. 

~ 

Jason drove to the cemetery the next morning and walked up to where his family was buried. Rows of tombstones stood stoically, crafted from aged marble and weathered granite. They bore the markings of countless years, etched with names, dates, and epitaphs. Each told a unique story of a person’s life, serving as a poignant reminder of the transient nature of existence. 

Wearing a fedora and leaning heavily on a cane, a silver-haired old woman was leaving the graveyard a few feet ahead of him. A gloomy expression filled her wrinkled face. Her eyes, behind her oversized round glasses, were fixated on the ground. 

Jason stopped when he arrived at his family’s resting place. He’d brought with him three bouquets of blue Hydrangeas—his family’s favorite. His mother used to fill their backyard with rows upon rows of this flower. 

Jason put his nose to one bouquet and breathed in the fragrance before placing it on his mother’s grave first, then his sister’s. He ran his fingers over their engraved words, and uttered softly, “Love you, always…” 

Their memories filled his heart with longing and sadness, wishing he had more time with them. 

He moved to his left and stood before his father’s grave. He stared at the words written over his tombstone: “Loving Husband and Devoted Father-Forever Missed.” 

The words caused a surge of uneasiness and anger to stir within him. He dropped the flower on his father’s grave and walked away from there as fast as he could. 

After a few feet, he abruptly halted and looked across the ground. He scooped up a small stone, spun around, and flung it toward his father’s resting place. 

“You heartless asshole,” Jason bellowed, dashing back toward the grave, fueled by a whirlwind of emotions. 

He stooped to snatch the flower from where he had left it. He threw the flower away, its petals scattering on the ground. 

“I hope you burn in hell.” Jason’s body seethed with fury. His breath came out in short, rapid gasps. 

As he kept glaring down, unbidden memories of the good times began to slip through his mind. The times when his father had been his role model and spent time with him, play with him, help him with his homework. The tide of memories hit its crest, rising above its surface and bursting through all barriers. Tears cascaded down his cheeks, and he crumbled to his knees. 

“Why did you abandon us?” Jason’s voice cracked. “Why, Dad…? Mom’s death was hard for us, too. But we needed you. And I wouldn’t have left if you had told me about the debt.” 

A breeze swept through the surroundings, collecting the petals of the discarded bouquet and brushing them over Jason’s face. Some of the petals fell on his father’s grave. A symphony of birdsong and rustling leaves filled the atmosphere as if the earth tried to whisper consoling words to ease his pain. 

Tears continued to stream down Jason’s face. Deep in his heart, he finally let himself listen to a voice that asked him to embrace forgiveness. 

“You know what, maybe it’s time,” Jason said, looking up with teary eyes, meeting the expanse of the sky. “Maybe it’s time I forgive you… I don’t want to hold this grudge anymore. And it won’t change a thing anyway… I hope you rest well wherever you are, Dad.” 

Jason remained on the ground, crying. A wave of emotions washed over him, mingled with a cathartic relief, cleansing him as he finally let it all go. 

This was written by our contributing writer, Arindam Kalita.