I don’t know about anyone else, but finding a good man in this day and age seems impossible. All over social media, you hear about all the horrible things that men do and how it is impossible to find someone. There are even Facebook pages talking about red flags that men have. That is all those pages are; they are making women question everything. Obviously, there may be things that need to be questioned, but social media has you ONLY seeing the bad. What about the good? With that everything out there has women believing that they will never find someone. When they do find someone, they doubt and question every motive. 

It is hard to trust when you have been hurt so badly yourself. Why put yourself out there if you are just going to be hurt again? We believe that if all this stuff is happening to others out there, too, then we’re doomed to just be alone. 

We are too old, too young, too fat, too skinny, too lazy, or too adventurous to ever find someone. Why do we believe that? Why do we allow society to tell us what we have to be to find someone to love us? 

I have had my fair share of toxic relationships. Relationships that make me question my self-worth. Relationships that made me believe I didn’t matter and only what they wanted did. Relationships that compared me to their ex-wife, telling me how they wished I was them. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, and told I needed to change to be loved. 

All those things happened to me, and it was horrible. I questioned every day if I would find someone who loved me for me. At the end of the day, that is all we ever want. We want someone to love us for who we are wholeheartedly. 

I focused on me, though. I changed my beliefs and started valuing myself. I started doing what I wanted to do with my life. I started changing my mindset from guys suck and will only ruin me to good guys are out there, and mine will come. 

I fully believe that by changing my mindset and valuing myself and the things I want in life, I have been able to meet someone with whom I know I am meant to spend my life with. Someone who is everything I could ever want and everything I didn’t know that I needed. Someone who sees me for me and loves who I am at my core. 

There are still great guys out there, and even the ones that weren’t great for me are going to be great for someone else. We just never know who is out there for us.

This was written by our contributing writer, Bailey Costa.