Friendship is a voluntary, lasting relationship between two or more people who care about each other’s needs and interests, often formed through shared experiences. It is voluntary because, unlike other relationships bound by legal, familial, or financial obligations, it exists purely by choice—it’s a connection we maintain because we genuinely want to, not because we have to.

I’ve known each of my friends for several years, whether from being in the same neighborhood, the same high school, or being a part of the same student organizations in college. However, when I moved across the country six years ago, I realized how friendships are not that different from romantic relationships. Just as how distance can lead to concerns about infidelity in a romantic relationship, it can also cause worries in friendships—fears that your friends might forget about you or find new people to fill your place. You fear the situation where one day, you can know somebody inside-out, and then suddenly, you realize it’s been years since you’ve uttered each other’s name.

Long-distance friendships come with challenges. Some say they can easily fall by the wayside, especially when distance becomes a factor. Without regular, face-to-face interactions, this type of friendship requires even more effort to keep the connection alive. You often miss your friends from home and wish you could do spontaneous hangouts, but then, you find the cost and difficulty of meeting up a barrier.

So why do people even bother to maintain connections? Is it for emotional support? Is it to feel a sense of continuity? Or is it because the bonds formed are so valuable that they wish they could withstand the distance?

Perhaps it’s all these reasons combined. Long-distance friendships can be tough, but they offer unique benefits. They can provide emotional support when you need it most, helping you feel connected even when you’re far apart. They also give you a sense of continuity in your life, reminding you of where you’ve come from and who’s been with you. Nonetheless, based on my experiences, long-distance friendships can be easier to maintain than we often assume, largely due to the accessibility of modern technology.

For instance, a study of college students found that while geographically close and long-distance friendships follow similar growth patterns, long-distance friendships are more likely to go through periods of becoming less close, but then they recover. This temporary distance often results from factors such as having busy schedules, lack of physical interactions, or life transitions. The recovery process can strengthen a friendship, as reconnecting often renews intimacy and appreciation, showing that long-distance friendships can adapt rather than fall apart.

Maintaining a long-distance friendship can be challenging but achievable with the right approach. Here are some ideas from my experience on staying connected despite the distance. But do keep in mind that every friendship is unique, so find what works best for you and your friends.

Communication matters.

You may have heard this phrase often, and it’s true in relationships. Whether verbal or written, communication can be effective in building trust or even resolving conflicts, as it helps clarify misunderstandings and express needs and feelings.

Compared to the past, technological advancements have made maintaining long-distance friendships easier. A study found that long-distance friends rely heavily on digital communication tools such as texting, social media, and video calls to stay connected. These technologies allow people to share moments in real-time, from everyday updates to special occasions, which helps to bridge the physical gap.

But this doesn’t mean texting, calling, or sending emails to each other every minute of every day. It’s about how you communicate. Communicating in different ways keeps friendships exciting.

One way is to be creative with your online hangouts. For example, you could host online sessions like a PowerPoint night where you create and share presentations that could include updates about your life, funny stories, or even themed topics such as “Most Embarrassing Moments” or “Small or Big Wins You’ve Received Lately.” This idea makes sharing news more interactive and provides a unique way to showcase your creativity and learn more about each other. In addition to PowerPoint nights, you can play video games or use streaming services or apps to enjoy movies together. Platforms like Teleparty, Discord, or Scener allow you to share your screen or your streaming apps so you can watch films or TV shows simultaneously while chatting in real-time.

You could also talk about your common interests. If you both enjoy cooking, swap recipes. If you both like the specific TV show, discuss the latest episodes. With apps like TikTok and Instagram, it’s easier than ever to send Reels or memes whenever something in your feed reminds you of them or when you find something you know they’d find funny.

Some of you may wonder, “What if it gets boring?” but the real question is, How can you make things meaningful? Ask deeper questions, share personal goals, or even plan future visits. Instead of focusing on routine conversations, try to surprise each other with random acts of kindness, like sending a thoughtful gift or an unexpected message. Keeping the friendship alive means continuing to evolve and adapt, just like you would in person.

But don’t ever be afraid of silence. Life can sometimes get in the way—there will be moments when a friend might miss a scheduled virtual call or take longer to respond to a message. One of the biggest mistakes in a long-distance friendship is feeling like you need to stay in constant contact to keep the relationship strong. It’s not about how often you talk but the quality of your interactions. As you both leave space for each other to live your daily lives, you’ll naturally find the right balance in your communication. A lasting friendship doesn’t require daily conversations. The best ones can pick up right where they left off, no matter how much time has passed.                                                       

Long-distance friendships, while challenging, are often more resilient and flexible than we may think. With the help of technology and a little creativity, they can thrive. The key lies in meaningful communication and understanding that even in silence, true friendship can stand the test of time. So, while distance may create temporary hurdles, it doesn’t have to weaken the connections that matter most—if anything, it can make them even stronger.   

This was written by our contributing writer, Sarah Hernaez.