For better or worse, my mom let me watch a lot of (edited!) Sex and the City when I was a teenager. Of course, it was the safe-for-network television version on E!, so I never saw anything spicy until I rewatched it in my 20s, but that’s not what has stuck with me throughout my many rewatchings. Instead, I realized that I was watching women in their 30s having a grand time in one of the greatest cities in the world for the first time that I can remember.

I know that dating issues were a huge part of the plot, but I also watched the women (especially Samantha and Miranda) live full lives outside of relationships.

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As women, we receive a ton of negative messaging about aging. The podcast bros scream into their mics that women “hit the wall” at 30 and lose all value. We are constantly sold “anti-aging” products that promise to rewind the clock instead of helping our skin feel its best at any age. We watch our mothers and grandmothers give up hobbies and clothes they love because they are “too old.” The message is the same – it is bad to age.

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None of us are immune to this messaging. Even though I’ve never felt truly bad about aging, I still found myself anxiously awaiting a proposal from my boyfriend when I was 27 because I needed to get married before I was 30 so that I wouldn’t be an “old bride.” Now that I have passed the dreaded 30 threshold, I find myself wondering why I was in such a rush in the first place.

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When I turned 29 in 2019, I realized I needed to do some mental preparation for the next decade and beyond.  My maternal grandmother lived to be almost 90, and my paternal grandmother is in her mid-90s and still going. I probably have many years left here, and it’s going to be pretty miserable if I believe the enjoyment of trying new things stops at 29.

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Logically, I knew my life wasn’t going to end as I aged, but I wanted to know that I could keep living. That I could keep chasing dreams, seeing new places, and enjoying life to the fullest.

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Social media, with all its deep faults, can be a powerful tool for changing narratives we have accepted for decades. I curated my following to see more women, both my age and older than me. In fact, one of my favorite “comfort creators” is a 70-something-year-old woman (@momentsofjane on Instagram), and she simply shares her life. It opened my eyes to the fact that I didn’t have to stop thriving at any point; I could love and enjoy my life up until the end.

Some of my other favorite positive aging creators:

• Becca Murray (thebeccamurray on Instagram/TikTok)
• Luisa (thesilverlining_1970 on Instagram)
• Anna Kai (maybeboth on Instagram/Tiktok)
• Fabiana Peterson (fashionbyfabiana on Instagram)
• Kim Hale (mskimhale on Tiktok)

Additionally, I sought stories of women who achieved personal and career goals beyond the “acceptable” time. I impulsively signed up for an acting class last year after a 10 + year hiatus. I absolutely loved the class and often found myself wishing I had stuck with acting when I took my first class as a teenager, but then I met a few women in my class who had started in their fifties. It made me realize that I could beat myself up for “wasting” my twenties, or I could embrace my life at this moment and realize there isn’t a time limit on trying something new.

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Finally, I started hanging out in online spaces meant for women over 30. In fact, literally the Women Over 30 subreddit.  Once again, seeing women older than me living amazing lives really showed me that not only are you still young in your 30s, you’re going to have adventures you can’t fathom yet.

There is a lot of money in making us feel bad for aging. Entire industries hinge on us hating our aging selves and spending a lot of money to hang on to our youth. Instead of feeling like we have to fade into the background, we can have vibrant, authentic lives for our entire lives.

There’s no rules, so I’ve only just begun.

I hope you do, too.

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This was written by our contributing writer, Carrie Bagley.