The Up & Coming Magazine

Image Credit: Unsplash- Sheila Jellison

Nobody can quite prepare you for that transition. Not the one where you finish your degree, and you finally have to make some sense revolving around the word ‘adulthood’ (or, indeed, a lack of it). It’s that change where you decide to pack up your life into two fairly large suitcases, and move your life to the sunny side up of the world (yes, I am talking about you, Florida). 

When people hear I work on a cruise ship, their immediate reaction is “Wow, that must be so amazing!”, or “Free travel? How can you complain!”

After living a fairly mundane life in a city which I can only describe as an abundance of chaos, fun, and familiarity, but one that has shaped me into the person typing this on my iPad keyboard.

My reality is, I work for long periods of time abroad, away from all the people I love, and the reality that makes most sense to me. I have moments of absolute joy, but I also experience sadness and anxiety, as I feel like I am missing the most important times with the people I love the most. 

Working on a cruise ship, especially with one of the largest entertainment companies in the world, is intense. You live where you work, and you work where you live. There is no real clocking out once you sign onto your contract. You still walk the same hallways, bump into the same people day in and out, maintaining the utmost friendliness like never before. The world moves a different way, yet the world you left behind still continues without you.

I just recently saw a quote on TikTok, of all places, which summarized exactly how I feel, but also how alone I feel in these thoughts. Not only are all my friends in different phases of their lives, so I feel a little distanced from being able to talk to them, but I can also feel a pang of guilt for missing loved ones’ special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries, and weddings galore.

Your friends back home have had to continue without you. I have had to rush a “Happy Birthday! Miss you!” text or catch a quick, blurry video call. It’s always embarkation or debarkation day, so you are saying goodbye to colleagues and guests in a constant repetitive cycle.

Instead of feeling some sense of despair on my decision to be a bit selfish, here are some of the reasons I tell myself I am allowed to do this on my terms; I have discovered myself living alone, without feeling lonely. Ultimately, this does come in waves. Lonely doesn’t mean I am on my own; you can feel lonely and lost in your mind. I have adapted myself to not take everything too seriously and take each day as it comes. The work is hard, so relaxing my brain in between shifts is an absolute MUST.

Traveling the world and making new friends. This was most definitely what dragged me out of my comfort zone the most, and was the best decision I made for myself. Exploring other cultures and learning new languages. When I decided to join the cruise lifestyle 2 years ago, little did I know that I would meet a person that would change the course of my life. My partner, who is fully Filipino, has a completely unique outlook on life, one which is so refreshing and interesting to learn, but sometimes we misunderstand each other, especially tone of voice, or using phrases that are unfamiliar to him. That means our relationship requires a lot of effort on both sides. 

Starting to love myself again. This is an ongoing process, and one that I knew that could not be something I could simply learn, or rush myself in learning. I think we can all say that we have days or periods of time of varying length that makes us feel bad about ourselves.

Watching old habits fall apart, and not missing them. If I told you how much of an unhealthy lifestyle I was living in, you would be surprised. I felt like I was in a rut I couldn’t get myself out of for a really long time. Now, I can leave alternating lives, which suit me, the on-board Meg and the off-board Meg.

The crew becomes your new family, out of necessity, not just choice.

You learn resilience. You learn how strong you are, not just physically, pulling long shifts with little rest, but emotionally, enduring distance, disconnection, and the ache of missing your people. You begin to treasure the small things: a voice message from your mum, a meme from a friend, a message that just says, “I miss you, Meg. I can’t wait to see you”.

Working on a cruise ship isn’t just a job. It is a tough lifestyle to navigate. One that tests you, stretches you, and changes you. And while the magic is real, so is the cost. I live for the stories I’ll tell when I’m home again. I hold onto the belief that love doesn’t weaken with distance; it is always waiting patiently. And somewhere between the waves and the work, I find a version of myself I never knew I was looking for.

This was written by our contributing writer, Megan Evans.