A bridge is a structure built to provide passage over an obstacle, usually something difficult to cross, such as a body of water, a road, a railway, or a valley. A bridge is also a fascinating metaphor for our lives. As we move through life, we build bridges to cross over obstacles in our relationships; to move from one life stage to another, to understand ourselves and why we think and behave as we do. This quote from Gloria Anzaldúa, an American scholar of Chicana feminism, cultural and queer theories, shares a truth all of us need to hear, “Voyager, there are no bridges, one builds them as one walks.”
I first read this on a calendar of inspirational daily quotes many years ago. The quote was printed on the page for December 28th. It spoke volumes to me, so I ripped it out and stuck it to my refrigerator. It has been with me through four refrigerators and three moves.
Anzaldúa’s quote reinforces the idea that as we move through life, we are the ones responsible for building the bridges we need and want. One of the most important bridges we can build, repair, maintain, and upgrade is the one between our mind and our intuitive wisdom. Why? Because this bridge, if it’s strong and in good repair, allows us to cross over, bypass, or fully embrace many of the obstacles, challenges, and happy events we’ll face in our lives. And what do we use to build this bridge? Self-awareness. When we are deeply self-aware, we can stand in safety and look at all we face – the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. We can see with clarity how our deepest beliefs and past experiences shape and affect our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Here’s a visual.
Imagine a two-lane bridge. What does yours look like? The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco? The George Washington Bridge in New York? Or maybe it’s that cute little wooden bridge you walk across on your favorite hike. One end of the bridge is your mind, and the other end is your intuitive wisdom. The middle of the bridge is shared by both your conscious mind and your intuitive wisdom. If the middle section of the bridge is damaged and the two-lanes blocked by denial, resistance, anger or fear, you won’t gain clarity about the what and the why of your own mental dramas. Messages from your intuitive wisdom won’t flow into your mind to help you grow.
All of us need to keep the middle section in good repair and the two lanes cleared of unconscious emotional debris in order for messages to go back and forth. Here’s an example.
A core belief of “I’m not good enough” can exist in both the mind section and the wisdom section of the bridge. On the wisdom end, I’m not good enough, might be seen, and sourced from the unconscious mind as messages of unworthiness from family, friends, society, and ourselves for any number of reasons like race, sex, gender identification, class, physical or mental ability. On the mind end of the bridge, I’m not good enough, might be believed and expressed through depression, unhelpful attitudes, addictions and other self-sabotaging behaviors.
However, our intuitive wisdom, seeing where it comes from, and knowing that the core belief of, I’m not good enough, is not true, does its best to send that message to the mind over the middle section of the bridge. If the two lanes are blocked, damaged, or have deep potholes, the message might not get across, but if your bridge is in good repair, your mind will receive the I am good enough, message, and may recognize where in the unconscious mind, the I’m not good enough belief came from and why you believed it. In either case, steps can be taken to make a choice for positive change, keep the status quo with full knowledge of the consequences, or find acceptance if change is not possible. Here’s another example.
If you stay stuck in your conscious everyday mind, an experience may look like this:
- Thinking: There’s too much to do. I’ll never meet my deadline.
- Feeling: I am frustrated and scared. My lips are tight. My lower back hurts.
- Behavior: I grind my teeth, throw a book across the room, and snap at my kids.
If the lanes between your mind and intuitive wisdom are clear and open, you can cross the bridge and tap into the why of how you think, feel, and act as you do. Then your behavior becomes more conscious and self-aware. Here’s an example of what can result when the bridge is open and in good repair:
- Thinking: There’s too much to do. I’ll never meet my deadline. Aha! I took on too much because I wanted to be admired for being perfect in everything I do; a lesson learned from my childhood about what I have to do in order to be accepted. Sigh.
- Feeling: I’m frustrated and scared because I feel out of control, one of my greatest fears. I learned this from my mom and my aunts. They said, If you’re not strong and in control – – someone else will control you.
- Behavior: Even though it’s hard for me to do, I am going to change my ways and ask for help. It’s no longer useful to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Another life lesson to unlearn. Double sigh.
When we are able to face, trace, embrace, and replace unhelpful thinking with clarity and wisdom, we can rebuild, repair, and clear any roadblocks that prevent connection between our mind and our intuitive wisdom. In other words, we have wised up.
This essay was previously published in Enlighten Up, Finding clarity, Contentment and Resilience in a Complicated World (Emerald Lake Books, Sherman, CT, 2021). It has been revised for inclusion in the Up & Coming Magazine.
This was written by our contributing writer, Elizabeth Gibbs.
Image Source: Pexels, Max Avans
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