Derek had gone to the pub for a pint; he could see his old friend Archie sitting at one of the tables. Archie had been on his own since his wife Millie died a few years before. They had their Sunday lunch at the pub together every week, and since Millie had died, Archie continued to, as it seemed pointless cooking a roast for one. Derek could not resist the opportunity to play a prank on his friend; the pub was busy, so it was easy to get to the bar without being seen by Archie. Derek spoke to one of the staff; luckily, the barman must’ve been new and didn’t recognize him as a regular.
“I’ll have a pint please, and I’m with that gentleman over there sitting on his own. He’s made a mistake with our order; he’s going a bit senile in his old age. He was meant to order two fish and chips instead of the roast. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry, sir, I’ll sort it for you,” the barman assured him.
“Thank you, I’m going for a smoke before it arrives,” Derek took his pint of Guinness and disappeared out to the beer garden.
“Excuse me, I didn’t order this; it’s fish. I bloody hate fish,” Archie complained when his food arrived.
“Sorry sir, but that’s what your friend ordered for you both,’ the waiter explained. “I’m not eating with anyone, as you can plainly see, or do you have trouble with your eyesight?”
Archie then recalled in his head what the waiter had just said and twigged what happened. “He’s bloody at it again, Derek the bugger, I’ll get him back,” he said, totally unaware that Derek was sitting out in the beer garden and could hear what was going on through an open window and was in hysterics. Derek was the only person he knew who would do something like this. These silly pranks had been going on for years.
Archie was thinking about leaving but couldn’t help overhear the conversation at the next table.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we are out of fish and chips,” another waiter was explaining to a couple in their late thirties.
“Excuse me for interrupting, but these have been ordered by mistake; they’re untouched and still hot. You’re welcome to have these,” Archie offered.
“That’s very kind of you, thank you,” the woman said appreciatively.
“No problem, at least it won’t go to waste,” Archie said, then turned impatiently back to his waiter.
“Now that’s been sorted, can you please get me my bloody roast dinner as originally requested? I’ll still pay for the fish and chips?” he sharply ordered the waiter. “Certainly, sir!”
As Archie ate his roast, he started contemplating how he was going to get Derek back; it would have to be something good.
After Derek’s prank at the pub a few weeks back, Archie had decided how he was going to get his friend back. Archie knew Derek loved his sleep and was very cranky when he didn’t get enough, so what better way to get back at him than by giving him a disturbed night. Archie had a few alarm clocks which he used back when he was working. He hardly ever used them nowadays but couldn’t bring himself to get rid of them.
Archie knew Derek would be out for the day, so there was ample opportunity to carry out his plan. He watched out the window as Derek went off on the bus.
“Get ready, old friend; you’re about to have the night from hell,” he chuckled to himself. Archie headed over to Derek’s and let himself into the house with the spare key he knew was kept under the plant pot. He found the alarm clocks in one of the kitchen cupboards. He set one of the alarm clocks to go off at 1 A.M. and hid in the drawer of the bedside cabinet. He then set another one to go off at 3:30 A.M. and hid it in the wardrobe. Archie nearly put another one in the spare bedroom but decided two would be enough. “Oh, I wish I could see the look on his face when these go off later; this will teach you not to mess with my Sunday roast,” Archie said happily to himself.
That night Derek went to bed later than normal because he was watching a film. It took him a while to settle, but he eventually drifted off to sleep. Derek was really startled when the first alarm clock went off at 1 A.M.
“What the hell is going on? I don’t have an alarm clock,” Derek said angrily, realizing the loud ringing sound was coming from the drawer of the bedside cabinet. He quickly turned it off and tried to get back to sleep, which wasn’t easy because the disturbance had really rattled him.
Derek was finally going back to sleep when the second alarm clock went off at 3.30 A.M. “For god’s sake, this is ridiculous,” Derek cursed. This time he had to get out of bed to find it. It didn’t take him long to find it in the back of the wardrobe. He turned it off and went back to bed.
Not surprisingly, Derek got up later than usual, feeling very tired after the disturbed night, but he still met Archie for breakfast as they regularly did.
“Is everything ok, Derek?” Archie asked, secretly laughing inside as he watched Derek slump back in his chair.
“No, I’ve had a bloody terrible night,” Derek answered grumpily.
‘Oh no, what’s happened?’ Archie asked, trying really hard not to give the game away. ‘I’ve had alarm clocks going off through the night, didn’t get much sleep at all, no idea where they came from.’ Derek then remembered that Archie was once obsessed with the worry of being late for work and possessed more than a few alarm clocks to help ensure he was never late.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” Derek looked as Archie started laughing, unable to hide it any longer.
“Sorry, I had to get you back for the fish and chip prank at the pub the other week,” Archie admitted.
“You bugger,” they giggled together.
So now they were even. Or were they?
This was written by our contributing writer, Emma Radford.
Image Source: Unsplash, Vlad Sargu
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