Something happens on the inside of you when your mindset is positive. In no way am I saying this is an easy task. We have our whole life behind us, and that life is riddled with the way we were raised, the neighborhood influences, peers we surrounded ourselves with, our culture, and the constant borage of negative input we have from social media. However, your past doesn’t dictate your future. Is it absolutely impossible to have a positive outlook when your life or upbringing was in the crapper? Not entirely, but neither am I saying in no way is it going to be anything but difficult.  

However, it is possible. It is all about mindset. You can either be frustrated where you’re at or believe you can grow from it. 

The circumstances that come into our lives shouldn’t dictate the kind of life we will have. 

But I hear you saying, “Shannon, but you don’t know how I was raised or the abuse I endured while growing up as a child.”

And my response to you is, “Phooey. That’s a load of hogwash you keep telling yourself.” 

See, I married a man who could have had the same reply as you find yourself giving me right now. But let me tell you his history or, better yet, his story. 

See, my husband was raised in the barrio of El Paso, a stone’s throw from the downtown railroad tracks. He was raised by a grandmother who spoke no English and a mother who was in and out of his life for the better part of his upbringing. 

He has no father and four older brothers, with a baby brother who shows up on his mother’s hip, who was gone for two years. 

Sound similar. But wait, it gets better. Special nights out consisted of getting a burger from Dairy Queen across the street and cutting it in fourths to share amongst the siblings. He had no bed and slept on the floor with the roaches or some nights when there were too many, he would put together two mid-century modern, yellow pleather kitchen chairs with white flowers and call that his bed. Beans and rice were the staples of choice. He had a paper route at eight years of age, getting up at three in the morning to ride his bike and deliver papers to make a few bucks. (I can’t imagine. Not in this lifetime would I allow my son to do that at eight years of age). Let’s make this story better. He was molested by the neighbor who owned the mechanic shop next door.  

Got the picture, now. Tough life, yes. But he chose not to allow that to define him. See, his brothers still do. But the mind is a powerful thing. The same upbringing, yet one decided. He looked at something else other than what had always been around him. 

Tony Robins says, “Once you develop a belief, you find evidence to support that.”  Let’s play a game. 

For example, look around the room and find as much as you can that is blue. Now close your eyes and tell me everything you see that’s brown without looking. You’ll be hard-pressed to find what was brown. Why? Because your belief in your mindset was looking for blue. Now look around and tell me everything that’s red. Do you see everything that’s red? Why? Because your mind said that that’s what you’re looking for. 

Tony Robbins says you’ll even find stuff that’s not even there and say it was just so you would feel successful. 

He goes on to say that if you tell yourself that you’re screwed up, you’re going to find evidence that tells you that you are. Whether you think it’s true or not, that’s what your mind believes because you have supporting evidence for it. 

It becomes self-evident, and you reinforce what you believe is good or bad.

See, my husband told himself he was an overcomer. He was not poor. It didn’t matter that he had no bed; he would own homes one day. No matter what others tried to say to him contrary to his belief, he pressed forward. And to this day, he is a true success story. Those things don’t define you. That’s not who you are. They only make you better. 

See, the God I serve said there will be trouble, trials, and tribulations in our life, but he also said he was going to get to the other side when he was on the sea and there was a terrible storm. It didn’t matter that water was in his boat. 

He was getting to the other side. 

Much like life. Are you going to allow the water to sink your boat? Or are you going to keep treading and make lemonade out of lemons? Make something sweet out of the sour that has been handed to you.  

So, how do you pursue that positive mindset?

1. Ignore the people around you.  You are the sum total of the five people you hang with. If they aren’t lifting you up, you need better friends. Elevate yourself by finding those more successful or happier in life and be around those people. Amazingly, you find yourself learning, growing, and being happy.  
2. Get back up. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall; keep getting back up. Muhammad Ali said it best. “You don’t lose if you get knocked down; you lose if you stay down.”
3. Cultivate and develop a positive mindset.  You spent your whole life thinking negatively. Thinking positively has to be taught. Reinforced and reinforced again. You’re creating new neuro associations. Your negative mindset was stuck in a rut, and by practicing a positive outlook, you’re creating new ruts, so to speak. 

So, what does a positive mindset look like, and how do you cultivate it?

           Start the day with positive affirmations. 

           Don’t allow another person’s negativity to bring you down.

           Smile.

           Be happy for other’s success.

           Be happy with the little you have. 

           Remind yourself this isn’t your tomorrow.

           Relationships are more important than the material things you have

           Be the person that lifts others up.

           Be kind to those you don’t know.

           Get out of being self-centered. It isn’t always about you.

           Enjoy the unexpected. 

           Look at adversity in the eye and laugh at it. 

           And last, as my mom used to say, you get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit. 

It’s not only about being mindful and cheerful or happy or just ignoring anything negative. You must learn to embrace both negative and positive and still choose to be optimistic. 

The positive effects of a positive mindset lead to an all-around better outlook on life. But also, studies have found that you have a better ability to cope with stress and an overall greater well-being and reduce rates of depression. The Mayo Clinic says thinking positively can increase your lifespan.

Challenge yourself to maintain a positive attitude, especially if something goes wrong – be resilient and prove to the world who you are.

This was written by our contributing writer, Shannon Hrimnak.