The song Don’t Blink by Kenny Chesney is a stark reminder that time flies. 

During a business dinner with clients discussing family and a motherhood, the wife engaged in conversation with me and began to relay her deepest fears about her son going off to college while she is halfway around the world.  He is only in high school, and already she is missing her son as he prepares to choose colleges. I relayed that time will pass in the blink of an eye, and before you know it, he will be your expecting your second grandbaby. That was something she didn’t want to hear.  But it is the truth.

I sat there listening to her story and reflected on all that has transpired in the 52 years of my life. Married 33 years, two adult children, and a second grandchild on the way.  Many setbacks and setups.  I look at my younger self and I think I was high-strung, and for what reason?  To have everything just perfect.  How stressful that was, and did that add to complications in my health over the years? 

Then today, I met a 93-year-old woman named Thelma, who had more spunk than most 75-year-olds and more vitality than many my age.  I have met many people her age, and she still drives. She is very active and very coherent. Her doctor had said her numbers were better than his and to keep doing what she was doing.  When I asked what her secret was, I was expecting to hear a regimen of pills or vitamins she consumes daily and to stay to a strict protocol of foods she eats.  Instead, she told me the secret to life is to be grateful and always have a positive mindset; then Thelma proceeded to share all the wonderful exploits and hardships she has experienced in her extraordinary life. 

It hasn’t always been rainbows and butterflies.  Thelma has lived a long life, and in her long life, she has seen a lot and has had many setbacks.  She grew up in the south side of Chicago, dirt poor, at the height of the depression, and yet her mother taught her to always be positive. You make your way.  She endured many struggles in her life, yet she chose to stay positive.  Her son, who was a well-liked professor, stepped in front of a train and committed suicide with no note or explanation as to why.  The man who loved her beyond reason passed away, leaving her alone and having to figure out this world without him.  And so many more, and yet this woman has the brightest smile and kind eyes. 

“See,” she says, “it doesn’t take anything from me to give a compliment or to be kind, but it gives so much to the person I am in front of at that moment.”

It wasn’t lost on me that she came from a generation that knew what hardship was, and in order to survive through it, you do.  Not stress over every little aspect of the situation, but instead buckle down and begin making it better. 

Today, our society is missing much of that.  We are so self-absorbed that there is rarely a thought to say something kind to another person or hold the door open for that mom who is walking in with two kids. We are too stressed to consider others. 

We become irritated because the person holding up the line at the grocery store is counting out their money instead of using the tap on the credit card machine, but they are committed to staying out of debt and feeding their family with what they can afford.  Or we get flustered at the old couple that is strolling hand in hand on the sidewalk and you just want to pass them and be on your way, but there is no room to pass, so we walk behind them stewing till you can pass and move along.  Yet, you have no idea that they have been married for sixty years, and she received a terrible doctor’s report, so they are spending their last moments together hand in hand.

As western society, we are so focused on tomorrow and how it will be bigger and better that we try to one up the other.  But we fall short of living in the moment and cherishing each aspect of our lives.  In the process, life passes by and we forget what the most important things in life are.  People. 

We forget, to share a kind word, a smile just because it is the right thing to do. 

I worked for a senior placing agency for many years and came across more families than I can count who had no relationship with a child.  It was heartbreaking. So many are coming to the end of their years full of regrets and pain.  They missed out.  Their stubborn ways caused friction in the relationships and were left alone and bitter.  Is that what we really want? I have never met someone who said I wish I had more time to make more money.  Instead, I hear, I wish I had more time to spend with those I loved, or I would have done life differently had I known I would be alone.  To look back at the end of our life and say those words is heart-wrenching. 

If you’re younger, take a lesson from Thelma and embrace the life you have.  Stress and becoming self-absorbed through life’s challenges is not your friend.  Take the adversity with spirit and pride your way through it.  Be open and embrace human kindness, and according to Thelma, long life is a given.’ 

When I left Thelma, her parting words to me, “You have a beautiful smile.  Share it with others.”

This was written by our contributing writer, Shannon Hrimnak.