Have you ever sat back and reflected on how it seemed your life was unraveling right before your eyes? You can remember when you had everything in order. There was no clutter to be found, not even a dust ball in the corner. You juggled being a wife, a mommy, a full-time employee, in school online, and still managed to make sure your appearance always showed up and showed out! Slowly, those things changed. You just didn’t have the energy you previously had to be the super sexy wife that your husband couldn’t keep his hands off of; the playful mom disappeared, who used to be the tickle monster that made your kids laugh uncontrollably. Your work ethic changed to where you started doing just enough, your school work was put off until the due date at 7:59 P.M., and it was due by 11:59 P.M., and please, let’s not get started on the extra soles that have grown on your feet from lacking pedicures and your cuticles appear as if you’ve been fist-fighting with the Pillsbury Dough Boy along with that wig you just throw on top of the helmet of hair because you JUST DIDN’T HAVE THE ENERGY NOR TIME TO CARE FOR YOU! 

I’ve come to tell you that you are not alone, hun. I, too, have experienced all of the above, all the while battling the constant thoughts of “I’ve got to get it together.” I sometimes had just enough energy to make sure the hubby had his lunch for work, kids had a meal (nothing like 4-course meals I used to prepare). As far as work, well, I showed up; wasn’t that good enough? I did complete my master’s program successfully; it seemed like it was by the skin of my teeth. And lastly, my appearance had gone to the sh*t hole…I didn’t even throw the wig on anymore; I simply threw on the old turban-like scarf and wrapped my hair daily. 

You’re asking, “Why is she divulging all this information?” The truth is I’m on a journey to healing. A journey to figure out where I turned left off the “right” road in my life. Did I turn my back on God somewhere back then? Did I do someone wrong in a previous life? In this current life, was I holding a grudge and didn’t even realize it? Well, if you or someone you know has ever experienced the above or something even remotely close to it, feel free to join me on this journey to remembering and finding who I once was because I truly believe “she” is still there, somewhere deep down inside, just waiting to be found again. Have a blessed day, guys, and feel free to share this article; someone may be ready to start the journey as well.

~Think it, believe it, and receive it~

This was written by our contributing writer, Ranice C. Harper.