Image Source: Unsplash- Leah Hetteberg
Welcome to June, loves! We’ve officially made it to another summer. Over the past few months, we’ve talked about improving our relationships with ourselves and developing romantic connections, but we haven’t touched on friendships. Friendships can be beautiful, but also complicated, and today we’re going to talk about that.
From childhood, we’re taught how to make friends. TV shows like Living Single, Friends, and Boy Meets World introduced us to different dynamics and levels of friendship. But most of us actually learned how to form friendships by observing the people around us, especially those in our own homes. The behaviors we see growing up shape how we connect with others. Ideally, we absorb the good ways to build meaningful, respectful relationships, but that’s not always the case. In this article, we’ll explore both positive and negative friendships to help you identify what’s truly healthy for your life.
What Does A Positive Friendship Look Like?
Positive friendships can make you feel like the happiest person on earth. But what exactly makes a friendship “positive”?
At its core, a positive friendship is built on honesty, loyalty, humility, directness, and genuine care. These key elements must be present on both sides. While every friendship looks different, these principles are essential to building a healthy, supportive bond.
Positive friendships help you grow. They teach you compassion, strengthen your emotional intelligence, and challenge you to see things from perspectives outside your own. Good friends walk with you through all seasons when you’re thriving, when you’re struggling, and everything in between. True friendship can weather any storm.
The Weight of Negative Friendships
On the flip side, negative friendships can hurt you in ways you never imagined. These are relationships that consistently drain your energy, cause emotional stress, or hinder your personal growth. They might involve manipulation, jealousy, constant criticism, competition, or a lack of support.
Though these red flags may seem obvious on paper, they’re not always easy to spot in real life. Negativity can be masked through “jokes” about your appearance, backhanded compliments, or guilt trips. Sometimes, we don’t even realize a friendship is toxic until we begin to change and evolve.
Ending a negative friendship is hard, especially when it’s someone you’ve known for years or even decades. But growth often requires us to examine not only who we are but also who we allow around us. If a friend only gives 10% while you’re pouring in 90%, it’s time to reevaluate.
Just like romantic relationships, friendships require effort from both sides. The idea of 50/50 doesn’t really work; each person should give 100%, whatever that looks like for them. If you have to constantly make someone feel like they’re the most important person in the world, but they never return the same energy, that’s a one-sided and unhealthy dynamic.
The Seasons of Friendship
In conclusion, friendships are like tides; there are ebbs and flows. You’ll encounter amazing friends in your life, especially if you put out amazing energy. Some will be with you for a lifetime, while others are only meant to be there for a season. And that’s okay.
Every friendship, even the ones that don’t last, can teach you something. That lesson is a part of your journey. As we grow and heal from past traumas and experiences, we naturally begin to outgrow certain connections. You might look back and realize that some friends were there only for a phase, and that’s not a bad thing. It just means they served their purpose.
Here’s a big sister tip: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having just one or two real friends. You don’t need a crowd. You need a few genuine people who love you, support you, and celebrate your dreams as if they were their own. If you haven’t met those friends yet, you will. And when you do, you’ll understand why it never worked out with anyone else.
Those true friends are the ones who come with the waves of life. That will leave a lasting impact. Even if you don’t talk every day or see each other for months or years, reconnecting with them will feel like no time has passed. That’s how you know they’re real.
This was written by our contributing writer, Vonora Lewis.
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