The Up & Coming Magazine

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I knew I was in love when I felt honored to stand beside him. I glanced at my best friend, confirmed it, she nodded, and he held my hand tightly to let me know he was there. 

For years, I questioned whether love was something meant for me at all. I left a domestic relationship, rebuilt my life through an unexpectedly fulfilling solo chapter, navigated a partnership with a man determined to “change” me, and eventually found myself with someone who felt less like a project and more like a home. My best friend.  

My relationship with men has always been rooted in humanity rather than hierarchy. I don’t view men as superior or inferior; I’ve always seen them as individuals shaped by their circumstances. Growing up in a diverse family, I learned early that equality shifts depending on where a person is in life. I treat my male friends the same way I treat my lady friends, and boundaries have never been a challenge for me.

Still, I’ve watched people around me speak about men as if they are emotionless, untouched by trauma or complexity. That perspective shifted for me after a candid conversation with my father. Often described as aggressive and narcissistic, he is also the child who was left behind to fend for himself. If anyone heard a single voice note from him, they’d hear how much he loves his daughters. Removing the title of “father” allowed me to see him as a person, not a role. That shift relieved us both of expectations neither of us could meet.

Titles create monsters out of relationships, it creates a form of possession.

To me, loving someone fully has proven to be less about sacrifice and more about alignment. I don’t think we have to share the same goals, but that would be nice. I am not shrinking myself or ignoring my needs. I am choosing a partnership that feels safe and intentional. I met my partner whole; he met me halfway.

When you think of your love, can a moment define your relationship?

Research consistently shows that love is a fundamental human need. Maya Angelou described it as “Love liberates, it doesn’t just hold, that’s ego”. That sentiment echoes through modern conversations about relationships.  In a recent interview, Jay Shetty and Quinlan Walter highlighted a striking statistic: 44% of people question whether they’re with the right partner.

It underscores a universal truth: who we choose says as much about us as it does about love. So if you’re questioning your partner, consider what that reveals about your own sense of self.

This was written by our contributing writer, Angie Taveras.