Lately, I have been listening to podcasts like crazy!! I love them; they have such a positive impact on my mind. I listen to a few different ones on different topics, but they are all so unique and powerful that I want to consume as many of them as I can. Each one though is constantly talking about how everyone is afraid to fail. 

That got me thinking about how many times I wanted to do something but was so afraid of failing that I didn’t do it and I regretted it. I was afraid to move to LA because I didn’t want to fail, I am afraid to create goals because then I feel like a failure if I don’t do them. I don’t want to work out in case I fail at that. There are so many things I want to do, but I am so scared to do them.  

Why is that though??

No one can make you feel like a failure, that is something that you put on yourself. Even though society makes you feel that you must live, look, and act a specific way. Fear is what makes everyone just blend in. 

 Everyone is striving to fit in and be themselves, but they are so afraid that they won’t fit in, so they just blend in. How is it possible to be afraid of failing to be yourself? That just doesn’t make any sense when you take a step back and think about it. Only you can know who you are. No one else should be able to tell you who you are. Yet everyone is afraid of being themselves. 

I am not about to tell you some secret and magic formula that works and you will never be afraid again, but I am going to tell you to look inside of yourself. Only you can decide to not fit the mold. 

Ask yourself these questions: 

Who am I trying to impress?

•  Society? Everyone in society is so worried about themselves they don’t have time to care about you. Next time you’re walking down the street look around. Everyone is so consumed in their day to day I doubt they will have time to judge you.
• Friends? Are they really your friends if you must impress them all the time?
• Family? Well, they should love you no matter what, and if they don’t then choose people to surround yourself with who do deserve you. You can choose your family.
• Spouse? They are with you for a reason. You should be able to freely be yourself without having to worry about their thoughts and if they make you feel afraid of failing then you deserve someone who picks you up when you fail.

What am I afraid of?

• Being Judged, criticized? Unfortunately, in the World we live in, people feel the need to judge others to make themselves feel good, but other people’s opinions of you should not change how you live your life.
• This was the hardest for me to grasp, I have always been incredibly self-conscious and scared of what others thought. There are still a lot of times I find myself not speaking up out of fear, but I am a lot better now that I realized that this is my life and I get to decide how to live it.

Why am I afraid to be myself?

• Who you are is amazing and by holding back, all you are doing is not letting the World see how amazing you truly are.
• My all-time favorite quote is: “BE YOURSELF EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN!” This is something I choose to live by.

How do I change my fears?

• You take it one day at a time and one thing at a time. Don’t overload yourself with all the things you want to change. Pick the easiest thing to change then move forward from there. Once you change one thing it’s easier to move forward.

I made a challenge for myself and any time that I feel afraid then I have to do/say what I am afraid of. Once I do what I am afraid of, then I realize that there is nothing to be afraid of. That was a major changing point in my life and has allowed me to be able to face my fears.  

If I can do it so, can you!

This was written by our contributing writer, Bailey Costa.