Author: Siwaphiwe Matha
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The Ghost Of The Forest
Roses are seeking for entitlement While you are stroking a leopard on the head Ironing linen with a steamer You call him a lover while he calls you a whiner Even tides have never been more drier triggered by makeup on the counter Every beep from the register makes your head feel lighter Without it…
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Younger Self
Dear younger self The world will haunt you, like ghosts fighting for comfort through a storm, you will be tossed around like a toy, everything you love and believe in will get destroyed. Words will be thrown like balls on a rugby field Betrayal shall look at your eyes with a smirk halfway its face.…
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Siwaphiwe
Gifted not lent Yet I feel like a liability to the world My soul feels borrowed And my mom? I feel like I owe For much more than I can count “We are given A gift more bitter than limonin While its purpose is greater than insulin and Ritalin” Every time those words fall from…
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Dump Piles
Every sentence is rehearsed. I lie through every verse I put a needle through my skin For attention I was deprived as a kid I say I want peace But I consumed all the peace that used to exist It lives inside of me But suffocates my me when the day blinks I need to…
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A Letter To My Teenage Self
Dear Teen, Your anxiety is probably lying to you. It tells you that you are not enough, right? Well, so does mine. So, I guess here we are, relapsing. You are probably just a teen, well, so am I. But that does not stop me from feeling tired, exhausted, and mostly suicidal. Your anxiety is…
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How Do You Know
It started as a talk Just before dawn I went on and on Like the chatterbox I was Till the clock struck four. How could you know It was all my fault? The bathroom door was unlocked A clear invitation for you to crawl in Break rules, you can never mold How do you know…
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Petrified
“Petrified” A word out of touch “Petrified” I am running out of time. Emotions infused with glum Feelings I can’t explain Painted blue, Only with pain. Petrified A voice disguised by disgust I am not blind Rather numb Petrified In a room full of roses Knives in chamber Nearer to my end Waiting for a…
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Words I Swallowed Yesterday
Walking with jots in vain Secrets kept in dismay I swallow my pride and try not to drive myself astray I stayed in the corner Bit my tongue While my voice wilted My feelings heightened My life shrunken. I swallowed every smile Erased every vow And hid from every crowd Confused rugs for a lie…
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The List
Below is a list of solemn promises I had bound myself to My only weakness Was driving as only I had the key I promise I was sober Ascetic, clear-headed, cold sober But adrenaline was rushing through my veins Heart in drums as I vowed “Shalt I lose heart I will climb mountains To secure…
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Everything I Do
I see you every day, you are not here but you live within me. I am left cleaning a mess you left but still a mess you never made. I still check your emails, answer your calls because I somehow want to believe you never left. I wanna feel like you are still here. I…