Author: Siwaphiwe Matha
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A Letter To My Teenage Self
Dear Teen, Your anxiety is probably lying to you. It tells you that you are not enough, right? Well, so does mine. So, I guess here we are, relapsing. You are probably just a teen, well, so am I. But that does not stop me from feeling tired, exhausted, and mostly suicidal. Your anxiety is…
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How Do You Know
It started as a talk Just before dawn I went on and on Like the chatterbox I was Till the clock struck four. How could you know It was all my fault? The bathroom door was unlocked A clear invitation for you to crawl in Break rules, you can never mold How do you know…
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Petrified
“Petrified” A word out of touch “Petrified” I am running out of time. Emotions infused with glum Feelings I can’t explain Painted blue, Only with pain. Petrified A voice disguised by disgust I am not blind Rather numb Petrified In a room full of roses Knives in chamber Nearer to my end Waiting for a…
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Words I Swallowed Yesterday
Walking with jots in vain Secrets kept in dismay I swallow my pride and try not to drive myself astray I stayed in the corner Bit my tongue While my voice wilted My feelings heightened My life shrunken. I swallowed every smile Erased every vow And hid from every crowd Confused rugs for a lie…
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The List
Below is a list of solemn promises I had bound myself to My only weakness Was driving as only I had the key I promise I was sober Ascetic, clear-headed, cold sober But adrenaline was rushing through my veins Heart in drums as I vowed “Shalt I lose heart I will climb mountains To secure…
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Everything I Do
I see you every day, you are not here but you live within me. I am left cleaning a mess you left but still a mess you never made. I still check your emails, answer your calls because I somehow want to believe you never left. I wanna feel like you are still here. I…
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Breathe In Cages
“Memories exist outside of time” Words quoted, not stolen “Even though I can swim, I always seem to drown.” Words fumbled, not folded. “Even when I am erased from your sight, I will remain in your heart” Words rehearsed, not genuine. “You will die with a smile” Truth spilled in tongues Words robbed of their…
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The Melody
Maybe it’s the music I listen to daily That intoxicates me to the point of blurring out from reality I am worried about my safety Because of my poor mentality and scarred sanity. From dusk till dawn I drown in music and still want more. I get blown away by my voice But pulled deeply…
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Dark Realms Of The Soul
In a sky full of stars, I would stare at the darkness. It’s a rough reflection of my heart. I would rather stare at the clearness of the night, It reflects how lonely my life truly is. No contacts on my phone. No one to hold when the night is turning cold. No one to…
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Set Me Free
A plea A whine loud enough to break windows and attack clots of loss Deception embedded in my imperfections Neglection throned at my door A knock silenced by thorns Set free the spirit that shall guide greatness The ghost that is worshipped by stone cold reapers, who unfortunately fall at the Devil’s feet Set free…